Consequently, to ask for a date can often cause undue stress and this is not easy either for the man or the woman. Naturally, the male specie of all animals have somewhat been conditioned to be the seeker and often required to initiate a relationship but gradually either sex are now seizing the initiative to ask the other out.
The most inhibiting factor in the dating arena can arguably be said to the fear of rejection. This fear can be so disconcerting to the extent that a lot of people have let so many opportunities for great relationship to have slipped through their fingers.
Handling rejection is easier if you understand that when someone rejects your advances, that that are just one person’s opinion of you and that if that person doesn’t like you, there are others who would be very willing to get to know you. Also having the understanding that just like you doesn’t like everyone that in like manner, not everyone is going to like you. It is just nature.
Asking a potential mate out requires some crucial planning but you’ve got to stay a bit loose and not consider it to be rocket science. The more organized you are, the better your chances a scoring a “yes” but you need to read the signs, stay loose and keep things light, flexible and open when making the request. Consider asking for a date as just a friendly request or better put a suggestion to want to spend some time with the individual.
Keep the following handy tips in mind when you want to ask someone out on a date.
Be Self Aware and Confident
The first rule to asking for a date is basically: No guts, No glory. Confidence is the hallmark of dating and so you should exhibit some degree of confidence and sincerity when asking for the date.
You must well composed, calm and not jittery although being a little bit nervous won’t hurt that much. This state of nervousness can seem a bit flattery to your potential date as it signals that you are really interested in wanting to get to know him or her. Almost everybody admires confidence when the people exhibiting it are not arrogant about it.
Forget about Friday or Saturday Nights
Most people have a lot often planned for these two days and they are considered as serious date/club nights. Mondays should equally be avoid because it’s generally busiest and most loathed day of the week. Consider others days of the week like Wednesday or Thursday that are a bit less crowded and generally don’t have much planned for.
Do it Yourself
You’ll fair better making the request in a casual encounter face-to-face. Although the scariest method, but is the best approach as it affords you the opportunity to check out the other person’s responses through the body language and gestures. For whatever it takes, do the asking personally and avoid the use of electronic devices like text messaging or even getting someone to do the asking on your behalf.
Timing of the Asking
Like every other thing in life, timing the occasion for asking for a date is crucial. You should take the other person’s life situation in consideration and avoid asking someone out during a period of personal crisis.
Don’t Ask but Invite
Avoid using passive phrases that end up tying you up without a providing space for you to maneuver around in case the first response from the other person is not all too positive. Phrases like “Would you like to go out with me sometime?” are dead ends if the person says a “no”. Don’t use questions that provide an easy way out that might make easy for the intended date to give you a “quick no” for an answer.
It is a good idea to be specific regarding when precisely you intend going out on the date giving possible options on the date/time so the other person to check their schedule. In essence you should try and be creative by offering specific opportunities/places for the outing as well as an alternate timing within which the other person can negotiate.
Be Realistic and Play it Casual
Don’t make the issue of asking someone for a date a very big issue. This only adds more tension to an already tense situation. Let your invitation to the date be as casual and sincere as can possibly be as this will help ease the situation for you.
Remember to keep it cool if you get a no, responding gracefully and maybe another time, probably with someone else and it could turn out to be a big “yes”. Persistence is the key. Good luck.
