Falling in Love! What a beautiful feeling. Suddenly the story ends, the curtain drops, the credits roll. And it’s finally “Happily Ever After.” Love can be so enchanting and exhilarating. But what exactly is the art behind building loving relationships that are truly “Happily Ever After?”
Researchers say that 78 percent of people’s idea of romantic love has elements of fairy tales such as Cinderella. However, they say that expecting a fairy tale relationship (feeling like it’s all magic) easily sets one up for disappointment. In other words, once that initial magic fades out; “disillusionment” often sets in.
This is why many people can happily tell you about “how they met,” but have very little to say about “how they stayed together.” Obviously there is a big disconnect between “getting into a new relationship” and “growing in a relationship.”
In new relationships, couples have a tendency of wanting their lives to intertwine and grow together as a unit. Individual goals are pushed aside and personal dreams often sacrificed for those that are mutual.
With that said, a lot of people still confuse being in a relationship with love. But this is not always the case. Being in a relationship doesn’t automatically mean that there is love in it.
As complications gradually develop in the relationship, as surely as they would, couples begin taking each other for granted. They become habituated – so used to each other that boredom sets in.
Other priorities begin to take precedence. Calls for help start being regarded as either not important, will be handled by someone else, or will simply lessen.
Building Loving Relationships – First Things First!
The adage, “know thyself,” comes in handy here. Thinking of it again and without sounding cliché, “would you marry you?” While the fact remains that relationships are not easy, they nonetheless remain a reflection of everything we feel about ourselves.
The analogy of people being like glasses of water comes into mind at this juncture. Our failure to do what is necessary in order to keep our glasses full often require that we take it from others. This will invariably leave the other party half full. Consequently, the responsibility rests on us to fill out our own glasses in order to feel whole and complete in our relationships.
We need to understand ourselves as best we can, in the fullest form possible. With that said, the foundation to having a long lasting, peaceful, and loving relationship is to start one with ourselves.
We cannot give out what we do not have. This idea becomes very important because the most demanding relationship we will ever have is with ourselves.
The truth is that experiencing self-love firsthand is the pathway to creating true and enriching loving relationships. It takes being with someone who knows what it is to love to fully understand, appreciate, and express true love. Love is beyond the outward as it begins as an inside job.
Making Our Loving Relationships Last the Long Term
The first thing to take into consideration about building loving relationships that last long is the need to completely love someone for who they are without any conditions. Additionally, learn to accept each other’s flaws as no one is a saint and the more self-aware of our weaknesses and faults, the less the hurting will be. Trying to change or making improvement attempts on your partner often doesn’t work.
Meanwhile, see and bring out the best in each other through the good and bad times. Similarly, while trusting each other completely, there is need to exercise patience in vulnerable and trying periods of the relationship.
Prioritize increasing the amount of the good and exciting times you share together while reducing the bad ones as much as possible. This is vital because most long lasting love relationships are often the results of partners entrenching themselves positively in each other’s mind. Kill the boredom in your relationship!
Create regular opportunities to experience excitement from novel and challenging activities together. This means to do more “exciting” stuffs together and not just the “pleasant” and “regular.” This and also practiced sharing of new experiences help to keep that initial rush when you first fell in love.
Increasing Intimacy in Our Relationships
The level of intimate connection in a relationship has a correlation to how authentic lovers can be with each other. Couples need to be more open with their thoughts and feelings, as well as their expectations and ambitions. The more open they become with each other, they more understanding they have of who the other truly is.
Although love may not be all about sexual attraction and intimacy in the relationship, sexual desires and behaviors do however enhance closeness and intimacy. This helps to promote pair bonding, or attachment to your spouse which altogether sustains the experience of consummate love.
Building loving relationships that are long-lasting, healthy, intimate, respectful, and inclusive, where individual expressions and personal growth are both valued and promoted, can be truly challenging but nonetheless possible.
Our most loving relationships are sacred and precious to us and as such deserve our full, constant attention, nurturing, and tender-loving care.
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