Getting over a breakup can be a pretty difficult issue to handle and often leads to guilt and depression if not properly handled. These feelings and state of mind during a breakup often impede one from making sound judgement at such an emotionally ridden period. Actions and decisions made during this time will mostly be irrational and may scuttle any chance one may have of getting his/her ex back.
There must be obvious reasons why your ex decided to break up with you and it is important that you first of all try to understand the reasons behind their breakup before you make any attempt toward getting your ex back. Without this understanding, it would be difficult to know what it is you need to do that will make your ex want to reconsider coming back into your life.
The following are certain mistakes which too many people do when they are trying to get their ex back. They are pitfalls you should try to avoid by all means possible if you are to have a chance at winning your ex back.
Arguing Over the Reasons for Breaking Up
It is a very counterproductive move if you ever start arguing with your ex over the reasons why they broke up with you. Arguing over who was responsible for the breakup is not only suicidal, but foolish, immature and a total waste of time and energy.
This is not the time to let your emotions and pride get in the way. If you allow anger to build up within you over the breakup this may lead to resentment toward your ex and this can easily snowball into heated arguments even over trivial issues.
Trying Incessantly to Contact Your Ex
This is perhaps the most irritating and repulsive thing you can ever do in attempting to win back your ex. Emailing, text messaging and calling your ex too many times in try to get them to talk to you can be a very big turnoff.
His/her refusal to pick your calls in the first place is a sign that they might not be interested in talking to you at the moment and therefore counter-productive to want to force a conversation.
Begging Your Ex To Accept You Back
Begging your ex to take you back for any reason is a sure sign of your weak state of mind and neediness. Desperately pleading to your ex to take you back will only serve one purpose, drive him/her away from you. You would simply be appearing to immature and clingy to them, and nobody wants to be around somebody like that.
Blaming Yourself
Blaming yourself for the failure of the relationship will only bring about guilt and this will in more than one way radiate in your countenance and will not do you any good in attempting to get your ex back.
If you made mistakes that contributed to the breakup, recognise and accept them and make any changes in your life about them and learn finally learn to forgive yourself. You need a composed and balanced mind with a lot of positive energy to effectively pull together yourself in winning your ex back.
After a breakup is to very necessary for both parties to take some time from seeing each other and observe the “no contact rule” for at least a month to enable get some free personal space to recuperate in.
Never let it get to the stage that you start to desperately run after your ex in order to get him/her back. With emotions running high, it is very possible for you to lose your cool when you see your ex. You should avoid hounding your ex with your attention.
Giving your ex some space can help them realise how much you meant to them and how much they miss you. Conversely, the more you pester your ex with your presence, the less likely they will be willing to give you a chance for a comeback.
Use of Manipulative Tendencies
Never try to be manipulative and force yourself on your ex. Your focus should be on how to attract him/her back to you. Manipulative use of sex, money or where there are kids from the relationship as a leverage against your ex in order to win him/her back will only backfire and destroy any chances you might have in winning your ex back.
You must also allow your ex to come up with their own opinion and not incessantly try to convince them to see how much changes you have made. No one likes to be pressured and it would be normal for your ex to push back when the pressure becomes too much. Manipulation and undue pressure will only increase the resistance of your ex.
Cultivating Self-Destructive Habits
This is definitely a no go area if you are really serious about winning back your ex. Becoming reclusive and staying indoors is one of the most common thing most people do after a breakup. Most guys may develop a drinking habit to get over their pain. Others start eating to self-destruction, gaining unnecessary extra weight which will end up making them look less attractive than before their spouse left them.
This should not be. Instead you should work on yourself the more. Indulge in an active lifestyle, take up self improvement programs and carry on with life as normal.
