As a sequel to our earlier discussion on playing hard to get, we will in this piece talk about how to create and negotiate the conditions that allows the pursuer to see what is on offer, choose it and act to acquire it.
You need to be intelligently self aware
When you have a good understanding of the person you are, you can create an image of strong superior personal quality that is very alluring and interesting.
Self-awareness regarding a clear understanding of why you are attracted to certain kinds of people, why you behave the way you behave, why you have fear for certain things and do certain things you do and do them in a particular way, and why you have belief in certain things.
Have and maintain an active lifestyle
Maintain a life of your own, but don’t let a potential mate think that you are not interested in him/her. Find full happiness in your career and live your life to the fullest possible. When your life is quite full and happy, people will want to know how you do it and become part of it.
Spend time with friends and family and plan activities that you enjoy doing. This will make you seem somewhat unavailable and anybody who wants to be a part of your life will have to do something to get into, not just stroll in.
Strike a balance
Understanding the “hard to get” part of the game is very fundamental as most people seem to fall overboard to either of two extremes when playing hard to get.
A group tend to appear too eager and because they are always there and often pushy, they end up scaring away the object of their interest. On the other hand, some try to play hard to get “too hard” and end up seeming disinterested making the other person feel that they are “impossible to get”.
You have to balance the act, so that while the interest in chasing you is there, there is also the hope of catching you with time.
Be Practical
I would not advice blanket following of dating advice but that you do what your heart tells you to do taking the earlier steps into cognizance as pretending to be something other than yourself is only going to delay the inevitable except you are ready to go the whole haul playing hard to get.
The concept of playing hard to get is a complex issue. You should realize that is a good strategy to let someone know you are interested and not a waste of time of their time but that you are equally not self-compromising nor desperate. In a real world situation, some of these might apply to some people relationships, while not in others.
Understand also that the way people express interest in other people often manifest itself in many complex, different and dynamic ways. People who are not interested in us are not going to be lured by being forced to wait, but those who are really interested will be willing to wait and go for the chase.
As a last word, it however holds true that several psychological studies have consistently shown that people do value things and opportunities that they had to wait and work for more than things that are easily obtained. There is also the general tendency for people to values things that they think others also value.
Finally, it needs to be stated categorically that findings holds for the fact that men perceive women who attainable for themselves, but difficult for other men to “obtain” as the most desirable. This is the theory of “selective difficulty”. Proven and tested.
